had training yesterday. did ma bu,box out,2-1-2 and lastly, 3 rounds around the track. it certainly has been long since i last trained more vigourously...so i thought training was great. at least i thought. anyway, i was super sad at the end...due to a remark..haix..maybe i've read too much into it.. bused home with priscilla,grace and angela. den pris and me sat on a concept bus 156. it was so COOL can?! the seats shaped like bar top den the seats are cushioned..woot~ and so my spirits were lifted.hahas took pics but cant uplaod them..aww

had a major fight with my dad when i stepped past the door at 11.30pm. he just assumed that i've been straying around in some part of s'pore when i've just came back for training. i just don't understand why cant he be more...more flexible?! and furthermore, NOBODY, including my mum and ah ma next door, TRUSTS me. ever since young, they've never believed in me. whenever bad things happen, they'll always put the blame on me, even when i'm not involved in it. simple things such as hanging out with friends and playing ball can evolve into major "cold wars" at home.. wads wrong here???i really dont ask for much and playing ball is my hobby.surely i have a right to do things that i like? they always think that i'll be lead astray by other ppl when in fact i dun even have friends like that?! checking my wallet everyday to see how much i spend?! and if i spend too much, they just assume that i go out to play??come on la, the money is spent on buying art materials and my daily expenses!whenever we quarrel, everyone SUDDENLY remembers all my bad points and start shooting me...saying that i've changed greatly, as if i've become another person.. i really hate this kind of situations..why is it so hard to stay happy even when all i've ever wanted was to have a happy family? i know whats on everybodys' minds, and i want to help too..but all i can do now is to study hard and make a better future...just when i really wanted to study, they start making me feel vey small and of no significance. i've totally lost my confidence and myself. yes, MYSELF. and everyday, i ask myself this question " do ppl change because they want to change into a better person, or do they change because of other peoples' needs?" still, i cant find a good answer to it. until i find the answer to the question, the day when i achieve my aim will never come..

Labels: i seriously hate being maligned